Why I like: Being the Driver

When you get lost and end up 40 miles out of the way, it's not primarily the driver's fault. It's mostly the navigator's.

Related: Fort Smith is south of Fayetteville....now I know.

Why I like: Punk Rawk Show by MxPx

Every week after MCP Live, I and another air guitar furiously to "Punk Rawk Show" by MxPx. It is one of my favorite times in life. There's nothing like singing along to punk rawk at deafening volumes while air guitaring with your friends. Nothing.

I will do it until I die. I am not kidding. I will be that Dad embarrassing his kids, and then that Father-in-law embarrassing the other side of the family, and then that old Grandpa still air guitaring. Because after that whole age 30 to age 60 gap, living life becomes really cool again. In the middle people get embarrassed if you do things like air guitar or go to clubs. But once you're like 60, everyone's like "Yeah! He's awesome. He still air guitars, even though he's 71 years old."

I am going to be that guy, and it will still be "Punk Rawk Show" by MxPx. I want it played at my funeral. I am not kidding.

Why I like: Lifeguarding

When your job requirements are near-silence and long stretches of time, you get to think a lot. I like that.

Also, it's professional people watching. How great is that?

Why I like: Index Cards

I'm a planner. I plan out everything, including conversations I'm going to have. Especially conversations that I'm going to have that are going to be uncomfortable or painful for me. I think out the points that I'm going to say, then list them in my head. Then I repeat that list several times, or many times, depending on how far away the conversation is.

The only problem with this is that I forget to incorporate the fact that people respond to my words into the script. Once I say one thing, the other person responds, and then we go off on that sentence or topic.

I then forget the rest of my points. I basically need index cards to have effective conversations. If I had all my points written on an index card, I could totally just look down and make sure I had said everything. It might tip some people off though; if I'm confronting someone in love, coming with index card in hand might make them a bit apprehensive.

For example: apologizing. Simple task, right? Should be easy?

To me, there are five parts to an apology:

1. Hey, I want to apologize.
2. I was wrong when I did (that thing).
3. I'm sorry that I did (that thing), because it hurt you. I don't want to hurt people.
4. (That thing) won't happen again.
5. Will you forgive me?

Even knowing that, I go into conversations and totally lose track of all my points. I usually get one or two out. Then I leave, feel unfinished, and want to go back to make more points. Kind of a closure thing.

I should just always bring an index card. Kinda like the towel from Hitchhiker's Guide, I guess. Only not as humorous.

Why I like: Putting Down the Shovel

I'm a very open person. I don't hide my emotions or opinions very often, and as a result, I get to the bottom of situations very quickly.

This is a blessing and a curse, because sometimes the metaphorical 'bottom' is resolution, and sometimes the metaphorical 'bottom' is a hole that I can't dig myself out of.

I hate it when an innocent conversation starts going down an incredibly awkward path. I almost always try to dig myself out, and more often than not it just gets worse and worse. Feelings get hurt, opinions of me get changed, people get offended, maybe even blows get exchanged. Mostly the first three, but you know how I roll. The fourth is always an option. Me and my 5"7' self.

But for serious, if I don't pay attention I have the ability to sound really callous and shallow for saying things I honestly believe. It's a problem. I'm just too comfortable with my opinions - I can dash them off and not even think about how the people I'm conversing with will act.

I also make light of situations in what some feel is an inappropriate manner. Again, I'm too comfortable with the subject material.

All this to say: not everything I know should be said to other people. Not everything I say should be known to other people. Oy vey.

Bumper Sticker You'll Never See: I put the kwar in awkward.

Why I Like: Personality Quirks

Let it be known that I am that guy who goes to a dance party and is more excited about the granola bars than the party.

Yeah, that totally happened today.

Why I like: Darts

We have a dart board in the staff lounge. I haven't hit any people, so I think this moves me up from novice to amateur. For reals though: I am quickly becoming a dart shark (if by 'dart shark' you mean that I'm hitting the board more often than the wall now). YES!

It's just fun to throw something sharp as hard as you can and not get in trouble for it.